My Grandma series 1 (Chukwudi Anagbogu)

‪#‎throwback‬ The Nation Newspapers Jan 15 2007

SERVES HIM RIGHT!!!

By Chukwudi Anagbogu

Dr Ubadike was known throughout the campus as a womanizer.Every girl he fancied he wooed by all means.He either used coercion or entreaties.In his department for instance, any girl who came to him for one problem or another would first meet up with his demands before he even listened to her problem.Being a comfortable lecturer with an unsuspecting wife and two children who were already graduated and gainfully employed, the fifty year-old was never comfortable with with girls paying for 'services' in cash, rather he always opted for payment in kind.But what was certain was that as long as you fulfilled your own part of the bargain, your problems are solved instantly.So as the staff adviser of his department, he always entertained numerous problems ranging from missing results, late registration of courses and so on.Also, those who were ready to sort his courses always came around.As was later discovered, he sometimes manufactured problems just to achieve his goals.Dr. Ubadike had his Ph.D in one of the most popular universities in the United Kingdom and was highly respected among his colleagues.

Rihanna happened to fall a victim of Dr. Ubadike's acts.She had returned for the new semester when she discovered to her chargrin that her ECO413 result was missing.Having heard much about Dr. Ubadike, she knew without being told what laid in store for her.She was one of the prettiest ladies in her department and was admired by all.At that moment, tears welded in her eyes as she thought of what to do.After confering with her closest friend Ciarra, she decided to meet the lecturer but would not yield to his overtures.

The following morning, she was Dr. Ubadike's first guest and before 9am, she sat face to face with him.
"may I help you?",he asked looking straight into her eyes.
"Sir,I discovered, after going through last semester's results that my ECO413 was missing"
"Alright",grunted Dr. Ubadike,"What do you say is your name?"
"I am Miss Rihanna Richie"
"I see", he said as he opened a large file in front of him flipping through some documents.After what seemed an eternity, he looked up to her.
"Miss Richie",he began,"you know quite well much as I do the implications of your problem...a clear carry over!",he concluded smiling mischieviously to the consternation of Rihanna.
"sir",began Rihanna,"I am very much aware of that.And that is the reason why I came to you.Perhaps there must be something wrong somewhere".
"I have heard you .But may I let you know that you have not chanelled your complaints appropriately.You have to go and put it in writing",he said with a tone of finality.
Rihanna was close to tears.She however pleaded with Dr. Ubadike to discard all the protocols as her result was most urgent considering the fact that she would be taking her final year exams the current semester.After all her pleas,the lecturer looked up to her and said matter-of -factly
"My dear, I have heard you.As a matter of fact. I have your result in this file",he grinned and pointed at a brown file at the left hand corner of his desk to the dismay of Rihanna.He continued,"I am just trying to help you, you see.But dont you think we should get to know each other well since this is your last semester in this school.Eh...you see...you can easily have your result immediately provided you..."
"Was that why you seized my result?",Rihanna raged.
"Wait a minute",resumed the lecturer,"I need not remind you of the fact that you are in my office and must not misbehave.As I was saying before you interrupted me,to be straight with you,I am a very busy man and as such have no time for frivolities.You have an only chance to avoid an extra year to your studies,that is if it would be just a year extra"
"What do you want from me?",lamented Rihanna
"You dont need to ask me.Mind you, I dont need your money or bags of rice.I have more than enough.Are you ready to meet me somewhere?",he threw the bombshell.
"Your actions are most unfortunate.I can't sell myself to a wicked man like you.If that is what you want,then you are wasting your time..."
"Ha ha ha ha ha .You will surely eat your words.I advise you to think about the offer and inform me when you are ready,otherwise",he suddenly frowned his face"you leave my office immediately!"
Rihanna sulked out of the office.Outside,she relayed her experience to Ciarra.She nearly turned red as she listened to Rihanna.
"I will show this man degema",she boasted."You have to see the Dean straightway"
"Dont you think its a waste of time"
"Look",began Ciarra,"I told you that now is the best time to nail the man's coffin.The man and the Dean are not presently in good terms.I heard their relationship gets sour by the day.The Dean even threatened to orchestrate his dismissal from the school."
"What is the bone of contention?"asked Rihanna brightening up.
"What else if not woman.I heard that the lectuter slept with the Dean's wife..."
"Holy moses!",exclaimed Rihanna.
"In fact, the Dean caught them red handed right on top of his matrimonial bed",Ciarra continued.
"And Jesus wept!"Rihanna exclaimed yet again before she asked,"what happened when he caught them?"
"I dont know.That was all I heard".
"Then I have to see the Dean as soon as possible".
They both boarded the school cab to the Faculty office.They alighted from the cab and went right into the reception.Ciarra waited behind while Rihanna,after observing all the protocols,she saw herself inside his office.After narrating her ordeal to the Dean, he cleared his throat and spoke.
"Are you sure of all these?"
"Ah.. Sir I am more than sure.I can't joke with such a sensitive issue".
After the conversation with the Dean, a trap was set for Dr Ubadike.Rihanna was to go back and ask for a date with the lecturer in a hotel in town.The Dean would dispatch two members of the anti-cult group to the hotel.They were to disguise themselves in the bar of the hotel where they were to keep themselves busy with bottles of beer.As soon as the lecturer arrived, Rihanna would give them the number of the chalet through a signal or through the receptionist who would be bought over with just a hundred naira note.When they must have checked into the chalet,two minutes later,the two members of the anti-cult would bump into the lecturer and immediately bundle him to the waiting arms of the Vice-chancellor through a waiting car.Interestingly, immediately Rihanna had left the Dean's office,th Dean had wired the Vice-chancellor and had intimated him on the development.The Vice-chancellor,eager to get hold of a scape goat, gave his unalloyed support.
All the plans were executed as planned.Like a fool he really was, he fell for every trap that was set for him.As soon as the door to chalet 8 was bolted, Dr.Ubadike began to undress and within a minute, he laid on the bed stark naked beckoning on Rihanna to join him,"come on ba...by",he sang.In a space of three seconds, Rihanna who was still dressed unbolted the door and the two anti-cult members swooped on him.Not even giving him the chance to dress up,they dragged him into their waiting van in the full glare of some unconcerned spectators in the hotel and drove straight to the Vice-chancellor's office.
A sack letter awaited for him in the V.c's office.At the office, Rihanna, the Dean as well as other members of staff and a few selected camera men took a full coverage of the scene as the Dean dialled the mobile number of Mrs Ubadike.